A Cultural Exchange

In 1982, my family hosted Fabiola, a 17 year-old girl from Chile. She stayed with us for 10 weeks, but the memory of the experience has stayed with me until this day. The experience was fun for me as I had a brother, but no sister. Though we were different, we were very much alike as well. To this day, we are still in contact. She has come back for a few visits, and though the years have been many, catching up has been a breeze.

Around this time of year, back in 2002, we started seriously looking to host an exchange student. I was hoping that my daughters could have the same type of experience as I did all those years ago. The search was almost like going shopping. We needed to find a girl who would fit in our family lifestyle and that enjoyed at least similar things as we do. First, we had to look through the different organizations, then to find the right student.

Six months of aggressively looking (after about 18 months of passively looking) we found our Hanna. She was a 17-year old from Sweden, and played soccer. Hanna would be 4 years older than Victoria, 8 years older than Adriana. This could work. We wrote to the exchange program, told them who we wanted, and she was placed on our list. Now, the interrogation came, a near 20-page application to host, letters of recommendation, host interview, background checks on Larry and I – pretty much everything minus providing DNA. (But, it’s good to know they were thorough in who they place students with.) Afterall, she was going to live with us for a year. She arrived at the beginning of August 2003, and left after the 4th of July, 2004 – she arrived with much excitement and anxiety, and left with many, many tears. I learned as much about Hanna and the Swedish culture as I hope she learned about the American culture. She was a smart, fun and enjoyable girl to be around. She wanted to constantly be exposed to new ventures, she loved to be on the go. I also learned that the Swedes had no idea what Swedish Fish were!! But now, thanks to the American influence, Hanna, her family and friends are all familiar with this wonderful treat! Hanna's year here was more for the experience, as she was not getting credit for it in Sweden.

At Jiminy Peak in Massachusetts with Hanna

June 2007, I had a crazy idea – let’s find a student again. This time, let’s go with an Italian girl, as I wanted to find out more about my own heritage through the life of a teenager. We began our ‘shopping’ for an Italian girl, and after reviewing over 250 profiles, we found Elisa (Eli). I vividly remember her profile letter. My father’s words still ring true, her letter was “too” perfect. Could this girl actually live up to what she presented in her letter? She hit the impossible, as she not only lived up to it, she surpassed it. Educationally, she was superior. We often talked about the differences in the schooling systems in the US vs. Italy. She said if she could take pieces of both, she’d be happy. In Italy, she went to school 6 days per week, there were no sports, no clubs, no proms, no graduations, no special days at school. Here, we offered all the extra “stuff” … which, is good and bad, I know. Personality wise, she was a perfect fit. She has a quirky sense of humor, and just fun and enjoyable to be around. Her humor, her charm was heartwarming and we created a special connection that will always stay with me.

The meeting of the families

The cost - in minimal. One extra mouth to feed, maybe the equivalence of an extra load of laundry a week. The benefit is this new relationship you form, and exposing you and your family to someone from another culture. As we shared our ways with these girls, we learned what it was like in their countries. Eli and Hanna can attest to the amount of times one of us would ask, "in Italy/Sweden do you...."

I feel that not only did my family learn about their cultures, but their friends from school learned about their cultures as well. There are still nights and times where I miss having them around. We had great fun on the big things that we did, but it’s all the little things, the things we laughed about that makes me miss them all the more. We were blessed with two amazing experiences. If you know of anyone out there, who is interested in hosting, and wants to talk with someone about the experience, please send them my way. The only pitfall is, they each took a piece of my heart with them when they left. But there’s the promise that we’ll see each other again. That’s the way it was meant to be.

Warm & Comfy Cozy

Perfect comfort – there’s nothing like it! Being that this is my favorite season, it made me think, what brings me that perfectly comfortable feeling. It grew into a Letterman Top Ten list, probably no drum roll though because they just all seem to bring that same type of feeling … warmth and peacefulness, and lots of contentment.

Cross-country skiing at Pineridge Ski Center on a day after a beautiful snow. If Norman Rockwell were around, he’d be painting there. Gi-normous trees covered with just the right amount of snow, fluffy white snow to ski on, and the right amount of hills to make us laugh as we wipe-out, if our skis go in the opposite direction that our brain is telling them to go.

Being at the ocean. From the rocky coast of Maine down to sweltering Florida, give me some good books, sand to run my hands through as I’m reading (very weird but I do it all the time … maybe because I’m think of ‘like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of Our Lives’).

Sitting on my front porch, first thing in the morning, or at night, in my wooden rocker with a Mary Higgins Clark book (all books are acceptable, she’s just my favorite). When we had our house built, I wanted to have a wooden porch with rockers on it so I could literally curl up with a good book and a cup of coffee. Autumn nights are the best!

Reconnecting and reminiscing with friends. Lately it seems like a lot of paths cross have made me reminiscent of some really wonderful memories. And even though lives have taken us in different directions, sometimes it’s just good to have that coming home feeling.

Movie nights with my daughters. Get me any old chick flick or tear-jerker movie, or even a comedy, throw in some Homestyle popcorn, a glass of Zinfandel (hot chocolate for my daughters) and plop myself on the couch.

Taking a walk on a crisp autumn day in the evening, after the leaves have started to fall. I enjoy walking. I take walks everyday, just a peaceful time to think, sometimes just about nothing. The association with the autumn and leaves probably is because I get transported in time, and I can see my brother and our friends, jumping into huge piles of leaves … and even more fun seeing my kids play in the leaves.

The smell of cinnamon or the smell of sauce cooking. Really, simply just that – the savory aromas. Those two scents can make my mouth water and make me feel relaxed. There are some days, when I need to smell that scent – so it’s time to bake (or cook). When all else fails, Yankee Candle comes to the rescue.

Thanksgiving morning. We celebrate Thanksgiving at our house with both families. I do all the prep the day before, so Thanksgiving day is normally just putting things in the oven. But the aroma of the turkey and other foods cooking, while I’m watching the Macy*s Thanksgiving Day parade and making my plan of attack for Black Friday brings me feeling of comfort.

Christmas Eve. The traditions, family, friends. In my family, Christmas Eve has always been the big celebration of Christmas. Christmas Day was a different type of celebration. Christmas Eve is spent with the whole family – dinner, mass and gift exchange. There isn’t a single year that has gone by that I don’t that feeling of, ‘yes, this is exactly where I want to be.’ Even with all the exhaustion of activities leading up to the day and activities of the day, it’s just a homey comfortable feeling.

And the number one feeling peacefulness, warmth and contentment?

Big hugs. I’m from a family of huggers – it’s in the blood.