Christmas Shopping Rules

Today I went shopping and within the first 30 minutes, I realized the ground rules needed to be set.

Cruising at about 64.9 MPR down the Northway to Colonie Center, I had spastic man behind me flinging his arms at my non-willingness to get out of his way. It would have been a simple thing to do, but there was a car in front of me, there was a car beside me, and I was in the 3rd lane. Next time you have your road rage at me sir, I will test my brakes and reflexes just to make sure I’m in check. No one is going anywhere fast. It’s 2 weeks before Christmas.

I pull into the parking lot. Ahhh, yes, the beloved vehicle that is special. So special, it needs to take up 2 parking spots, so the cars to the left and right do not dent it. If the car is that special, then don’t bring it to the mall during the Christmas season. And speaking of parking lots, speed limit should be reasonable. If we hear your wheels peel, you don’t belong in the parking lot, you belong at Lebanon Valley Speedway.

First customer service rep I came in contact with may have needed her morning coffee. She was not the kindest soul. Maybe it was an off day. But when the customer says, “Hi! How are you?” And when the sale is complete, and the customer says, “Thank you very much, and have a great day.” A courteous “Thanks” is an appropriate response. I get that people dread working during this season. But in today’s economy, the fact that one IS working, and at least during my transaction, wasn’t yelling or bitching … ‘thanks’ could be nice. I do love the CSR’s who are kind and friendly – and have a smile on their face. Idle chit chat makes the day smoothly.

Customers one and all must realize, shopping is crazy right now. Expect to wait in line. Loud heaving breaths will not make the CSR at the register go any quicker because you are in a hurry. We all are. Stand in line and deal with it (or shop on-line where there are no lines).

Do NOT butt people in line – don’t pretend you didn’t realize you were doing it, because we all know you knew! Funny story. Black Friday 1997, I was at Toys R Us on Wolf Road, it was 6 am, the store opened at 5. The regular line to check out was an hour wait long. The check-out at Electronics was 30 minutes. I’m standing in line, and the gentleman behind me was over 6 foot and a bit of a Hells Angels’ish type of fellow. A woman came with her cart and nudged her way into my backside, casually trying to cut the line. He looked at her, and told her to get to the back of the line. When she tried to explain her way out of it (or into the line saying she had been there), he informed her, “Lady, you have a better chance of shaking hands with Jesus Christ today than butting me in line, I said get to the back of the line.” LOVED his response.

And finally, take every opportunity to laugh (and laugh at yourself). Everyone can do something unintentionally funny … and it’s a good idea to be able to laugh about it. This year as I was shopping on Black Friday, I was in Target. I was in the DVD area (big sale on DVDs) with about 20 people scouring through the titles. One woman who had been squatting down stands up rejoicing and yells to her husband who was standing about 20 feet away, “BABY! I got Knocked up!” The laughter erupted, the processing in her mind started and then she realized. The better choice in wording could have been, “Baby! I found the DVD Knocked UP!” But instead, she gave us all a funny moment.